சிரிய அதிபர் அசாத்தின் பலான பகிடிகள்

மக்கள் கிளர்ச்சியை தன் இரும்புக் கரங்களால் அடக்கிக் கொண்டிருக்கும் பிரித்தானியாவில் மருத்துவம் படித்த சிரிய அதிபர் பஷார் அல் அசாத் பலான பகிடிகளை தனது நண்பகளுக்கு மின்னஞ்சல் மூலம் அனுப்புவாராம். இதை விக்கிலீக் அம்பலப்படுத்தியுள்ளது. அவர் அனுப்பிய சில பகிடிகள்:

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a lot.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do,
but married men are a lot more willing to die.

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS:
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man+dumb woman = affair
Dumb man+smart woman = marriage
Dumb man+dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss+smart employee = profit
Smart boss+dumb employee = production
Dumb boss+smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss+dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $200 for a$100 item he needs.
A woman will pay$100 for a $200 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling,
telling me, 'You're next.'
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

On December 15, 2010 in an email titled "British generosity", Bashar al-Assad transferred an email which was sent to him by Fawaz Akhras, his father-in-law, according to Owni, in which he mocks international aid sent by the British after an “earthquake” which killed 2 million people in Pakistan.

Subject: British generosity
It is said that a big earthquake hit Pakistan.
Two million Pakistanis died and over a million are injured.
The country is ruined and the government doesn't know where to start to rebuild.
The world is in shock.
The USA is sending troops to help.
Saudi Arabia is sending oil.
Latin American countries are sending supplies.
New Zealand is sending sheep, cattle and food crops.
TheEastAsiansare sending labour to assist in rebuilding infrastructure.
Australia is sending medical teams and supplies.
Not to be outdone,
Britainis sending back two million Pakistanis as replacements.
. .
God Bless British generosity.

Four days later, on December 19, 2010, Assad sends another joke of a nun who has been raped and goes to her head nun for help.

“I was raped. What shall I do?”
"Drink this most bitter tea with no sugar"
“Shall that bring my purity and honour back?”
"No, but it shall take that happy look off your face”

Attached to yet another email, on November 2010, Assad sends "The Hormone Guide", that men “should memorise”. In the title the Syrian leader advises his interlocutor to “put a copy one the fridge”. The document explains to men how to avoid problems with women.