Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
Before you borrow money from a friend, decide which you need more.
I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.
If your feet smell
and your nose runs,
you're built upside down.
Confession is good for the soul,
but bad for your career.
Remember, half the people in the world
are below average.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it.
...So I said, "Implants?"
No one ever says, "It's only a game."
when their team is winning.
It's a small world so you
have to use your elbows a lot.
If at first you don't succeed,
destroy all evidence that you even tried.
Blood is thicker than waterNever Go to Bed Angry.
and tastier, too.
Stay Awake and Plot Your Revenge
Lord, if I can't be skinny,God Made Pot.
please let all my friends be fat.
Man Made Beer.
Who Do You Trust?